Casual Marriage, Casual Divorce

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            Divorce has become a casual, almost regular and normal occurrence. The only way that divorce could have become so casual is that somewhere along the line, marriage has come to be viewed as a casual relationship. It is not unusual anymore for divorces to equal or outnumber marriages in a given county in a given month. The fact that there are millions of known males and females in America who are cohabiting without even bothering to get married further emphasizes the casual attitude toward marriage in our morally sick age.

Marriage is not for babies, even though they may be 36 years old. There simply is no substitute for emotional and spiritual maturity on the part of both partners to make marriage the blissful relationship God intended it to be. Like a building, marriage may be beautiful when first consummated, but without a solid foundation, it will start sagging; its walls will crack and eventually it will fall when the inevitable storms beat against it. On the premise that shallow reasons for marriage often result in shallow reasons for divorce, it would seem worthwhile to discuss some of these shallow, immature reasons for marriage:

1. Escape from parental restraint and authority. Some young people can only see a world of complete “freedom” when they leave home; they overlook the responsibilities.
2. Escape from an unhappy home life. While it is understandable that one would desire to be free of such, if this is one’s main reason for marriage, he may find he has jumped from the frying pan into the fire.
3. Pride, status. “Everyone my age is getting married.” This is the poorest reason in the world to do anything and especially to enter into marriage, which involves lifelong commitments.
4. Physical attraction. The most attractive boy or girl may be mature, but he or she may also be a rotten brat that will be impossible to live with.
5. Material attraction. Many people have learned through bitter experience that marital happiness is not guaranteed by wealth. If money is the major asset of the future spouse, you are likely marrying a big dose of misery.

Marriage and divorce are not casual matters to God, and they must never be to his people.

[Note: I wrote this article for and it was published in The Edifier, weekly bulletin of Pearl Street Church of Christ, Denton, TX, June 4, 1987, of which I was editor.]

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