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It is possible for one to be too hard on oneself, unnecessarily reproaching and condemning oneself. However, it is also possible to be too easy on oneself. This often takes the form of self-pity. People who are constantly dripping with self-sympathy are at the same time to be pitied and shunned. They not only ruin life for themselves, but they spoil it for others upon whom they descend with their tales of woe, if they’re allowed to. Are you struggling under a plague of self-pity? If so, consider the following facts about it:
- It is a mark of immaturity. Babies are notoriously self-sympathetic. If they are hungry or uncomfortable, it matters not to them that it is 2:00 A. M. In their self-pity they holler till somebody comes. They don’t give a thought to the fact that Mother and Daddy need their rest for the coming day. A person who is mature has learned to take some lumps, suffer some discomforts and walk through some valleys, without becoming an embittered, long-faced complainer.
- It makes one insensitive to others. If one is constantly focusing only on his own troubles and problems, he can hardly be understanding and sympathetic toward others. Such a person is constantly seeking sympathy and murmuring about being neglected and having no one who loves him or cares for him. “I have more problems than anyone else,” he wails; but how does he know? He doesn’t know or care about the suffering of others.
- It makes one miserable. None are more unhappy on this earth than those who are completely wrapped up in themselves. The more they think only of themselves the worse it makes them feel, and the worse they feel the more they pity themselves!
- It robs us of friends. The chronic self-pitier will always be a grouchy, pessimistic fusser who has forgotten how to talk without a certain whine in the voice. Who likes to be around that sort of person?
- It can make one physically and emotionally ill.
The self-pitier needs to grow up: “Be not children in mind . . ., but in mind be men” (1 Cor. 14:20). It is right to love oneself, but we are also taught to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mat. 22:39).
[Note: I wrote this article for and it was published in The Edifier, weekly bulletin of Pearl Street Church of Christ, Denton, TX, October 29, 1987, of which I was editor.]
Attribution: From thescripturecache.com; Dub McClish, owner and administrator.
